Sunday, August 9

Led Away



Led Away

I'm so naked
everything is stripped away
my clothing, my jewels, my will to live
a newt in the desert

I'm so blinded
swallowing death today
my eyes don't see the gas I inhale
poisonous vapors

You're so easy
to fool and dismay
follow my voice and my vice to the end
small green, fragile, frond

Shared at Magpie Tales

Saturday, August 8

The Trade-Off

Can you forgive me? 
Can you forgive me, friend?
Sister? 
Stranger? 
It takes strength to say goodbye, 
to weigh your choices like gold, 
never knowing if perhaps
there was an error 
of calculation, 
causing you to trade in your gold 
for bronze.

Monday, August 3

Quitting

It's early morning and I sit here alone. The hum of the refrigerator and the buzz of my laptop is my soundtrack. If this was last year, I would have been lacing up my tennis shoes to go for a morning run. But I've stopped running. I never liked it anyways and when my knees began to ache, coupled with a few jarring encounters with strangers, there was enough reason to quit.

If this was last winter, I'd be drinking a cuppa coffee. Dark roast with hazelnut creamer, sipped from my vintage looking glass mug, topped with cinnamon. I'd be savoring every sip. But when I began keeping my husband up at night with the constant jerking and trembling of my limbs, I said, "it has to go." I was stressed enough with my professional obligations, it didn't make sense to exacerbate my excitability with a substance known to provoke anxiety and psychosis. Away went the stimulant.

If it was last week, I'd be writing in my journal, not on the internet. There sits in my closet a large metal box. It is heavy, filled with an assortment of used notebooks. All mine, chronicling my life for the last 17 years or so. But today, I am writing here. I haven't quit writing. I can't quit. I've tried. I am a writer. 

Writers write. Dancers dance. Singers sing. I may not do it for you, but I do it for me. Its how I process the world. Its how I express my heart. Word after word, making sentences. I write. 

Sunday, August 2

Only Dreaming


Only Dreaming

I've fallen asleep on my dreams
these hopes with promises to keep
forgotten vows weep
when will I wake from this sleep?

Shared at Magpie Tales

Saturday, August 1

Why We Love Weddings



I woke up this morning with Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud" running through my head. With the the flutter of my eyes came a smile as wide as the sun as I realized today was Wedding Day. Not my wedding day, that was 3 years ago, but my husband's best-friend's wedding. Immediately I was up on my feet getting everything ready for our part of the wedding. I ironed my husband's shirt, went to breakfast with the groom's sister, and wrote the ubiquitous well-wishing Facebook post which precedes the giving of the well-wishing wedding card.

Since R and I took our vows 3 years ago, I've taken to absolutely loving weddings. We've been to several in just the past 12 months, and I never tire of the details. There is something so special about being witness to the union of two people who have decided to commit to sharing their lives together. It is a moment of pure love and happiness and a promise of what's to come: two lives becoming one.

So, on this momentous occasion, I pause to really reflect what is it that makes a wedding so special. What is it that evokes tears of joy and rapture?

Could it be the sacrifice that each person makes? And I'm not talking about "forsaking all others." If you're still ruminating about that, please don't even think about getting married. I'm talking about the part of marriage which means that one is deciding to give of themselves to another in a way that begins to change you. It means getting vulnerable and willing to trust. It's done from the heart and it squeezes your soul.

And the love! Who can forget that weddings are all about love, which is by definition almost unfathomable? That love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (Corinthians 13: 4-7) The start of every journey of love is aw-inspiring and challenges us to love again with all our hearts.

May God bless the couple on their wedding day. What God has joined together, let no one separate ( Mark 10:9).